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Inhismid-80sNedwasdiagnosedwithaast-growingbraintumor.Eventuallyheandhisoncologistdecidednomoretreatmentsexistedthatcouldeithercurehiscancerorprolonghislie.Sohequitcurativecareandenteredahospiceprogram.NotaveryauspiciousbeginningtoastoryabouthopeisitYetNeditturnsoutwasexceed-inglyorward-thinkingeventhoughheknewhewasnearinghisendduetoaataldisease.Heboughtacamcordertorecordstoriesorhisgrandchildrentowhomhewantedtopassonhisknowledge.Healsodecidedhewantedtoleavealegacyohistrademarkhumor.Sohebeganwritingdownallhisjokes.Bythe150thhishandsweretooshakytocontinuesohedictatedanother200.Thennoticingthatmusicianssometimesentertainedatthehospiceheaskedtoperormastand-uproutine.ExceptNedcouldnolongerstandsotheaudiencecametohimx14doctorsnursesaidesvolunteersandellowpatientsgatheredaroundhisbed.Nedwasariottheroomflledwithlaughter.x1cNowIknowmyjokeswillliveonx1dhesmiledwithsatisactionandoptimismashegrippedthehandoahospicecounselor.Hopehelpsallthroughlifex1cDyingisnotaninherentlyhopelessstatex1dsaysDavidFeldmanPh.D.assistantproessorocounselingpsychologyatCaliorniax19sSantaClaraUniversityandtheauthoroTheEndofLifeHandbookACompassionateGuidetoConnectingwithandCaringforaDyingLovedOne.Yettoootendoctorsandamiliesearthatoncethepatientgoesoacurativepathheorshewillallintoastateodespair.x1cTherex19snoevidencetosupportthisx1dFeldmansays.x1cWhathappensisthatpeoplere-defnehope.Hopeisinvestedindierentgoalsotherthanacure.x1dx1cIallwehopeoristolivelongeralwaysthenatsomepointwewillallbecomehopelessx1dsaysIraByockMDdirectoropalliativemedicineatDartmouth-HitchcockMedicalCenterandtheauthoroDyingWell.x1cButIamsureitx19spossibleorhopetoshitbecauseIx19veseenitoverandoverin30yearsasadoctor.x1dThesenewhopescantakelimitlessormsbecauseindividualsx19aspirationsandgoalsareasuniqueastheyare.HerearesomecommonthemesToreconcilewithsomeoneormakeamendsTohavegoodpaincontrolToexperiencesomethingonealwayswantedtodoToleavealegacyosomeormTohelpothersTotakeupahobbyTohavedignityTodoaavoritethingonelasttimeTobeoutinnatureToenjoyintimacywithlovedonesTobuildagoodrelationshipwithGodTopassononex19sknowledgeorexpertiseTodistributepossessionsmeaningullyTocarryoutsomehoperomthepast.TouchingLives9